ManDad Monday
Are you Man enough?
Dads,
We’re done hearing ‘toxic masculinity’, so we’ve addressed 10 ideas here to help you nurture and display healthy, positive, masculinity. Be proud, Man!
Most of us are pretty decent human beings, simply trying to get through life. Don’t feel that you have to bend to society’s will, downplay your manliness, or apologise for being a bloke!
10 Ideas to Nurture Healthy Masculinity
1. Redefine Strength
Strength is all manner of things - from showing up and taking the lead, to following along when someone more experienced shows up, and admitting when we’re wrong.
There’s physical strength, mental toughness, emotional resilience, and spiritual soundness. We can achieve in all of these areas when we work on ourselves. Our inner strength will shine through and others will see it too. Bravery (without being stupid), leadership, remaining calm under pressure, and being responsible for yourself and what’s happening in your life are all forms of strength. Living intentionally and making good decisions are more impressive than big biceps - remember that!
2. Model Respect
Healthy masculinity thrives on respect—toward women, children, other men, and yourself. Show that being a good man starts with being a good human.
It sounds simple, but actually, we’re pretty terrible at taking care of ourselves - so start there. Self-care, self-respect (which includes saying ‘no’ and setting boundaries), and boosting self-esteem will all help you to raise your level of manliness and make you stand out to others as a good role model. There’s nothing wrong with being assertive, saying what you mean, meaning what you say, going after what you want, and using concise language to cut out any BS. Be quietly confident; but not arrogant.
3. Embrace Emotional Literacy
Name your emotions. Own them. Teach your kids that it’s okay to feel sad, scared, or overwhelmed—and that those feelings don’t make you “less of a man.”
Learn to recognise, name, and then manage emotions - even if that means beating the crap out of a punchbag… getting frustrated or angry creates a physiological response and there are hormones and certain energies we need to physically get rid of. Sometimes breathing and meditation is not the way - find something sensible to hit, swing at, bash, or hammer, away from kids and any partner to disperse energy and diffuse hormone and chemical build-up. You’ll feel heaps better after just a few minutes!
4. Break the “Lone Wolf” Mentality
You don’t have to go it alone, although many of us do. Build connections, seek support, and create spaces where guys can talk about real stuff without shame.
Andy’s Man Club is a great place to start - https://andysmanclub.co.uk/ - as they offer peer-to-peer support groups across the whole of the UK. You can vent, chat, or just listen, with other blokes who need and want to do the same… you might also make some friends, which can be tough for us fellas, especially after having kids. There’s nothing wrong with ‘alone time’, but avoid loneliness by connecting with other men. There is strength in numbers, and in community - so find a pack to join!
5. Challenge the Old Scripts
Don’t blindly follow outdated rules like “men don’t cry” or “the man always provides.” Write your own script based on values, not stereotypes. Equally, “Men don’t take care of kids” and “Dads don’t know what they’re doing” - we need to fix that assumption, because we’re just as good as mums are… and don’t let them tell you otherwise!
What do you value? What’s important and what are your priorities? Literally write them down. Seeing these things in black and white is helpful. You can spend some time considering your list, tweaking it, and then making a final copy. Stick it up somewhere you’ll see it every day, and/or in the front page of a journal. Refer back to it daily and decide how you’re going to show up each day according to your values and priorities.
6. Balance Confidence with Humility
Being proud of who you are doesn’t mean refusing to grow. Listen, learn, admit mistakes, own up to stuff going wrong on your watch, but resolve to fix it.
Be content with your own ability to be bold, brave, and confident in your abilities, but, stay humble. No one likes a big-head or show-off, but we do like strong, confident men who know their worth (and we’re not just talking about your bank balance). Walk with your shoulders back and head held high - be proud of who you are regardless of your history, background, or socio-economic position.
7. Be vulnerable, to a point
Opening up isn’t weakness; it’s human. Being vulnerable with your partner, kids, or friends creates deeper relationships and stronger bonds.
But, be careful when it comes to sharing personal information with colleagues, bosses, clients, and online - oversharing can sometimes do more harm than good. You don’t have to lay everything out for the world to see, and, you don’t have to always justify your actions or decisions - ‘no’ means ‘no’, and sometimes, there will be things that you just don’t want to do, or don’t care for. Some people make a living out of talking about their trauma - just be sure that your living isn’t affected by sharing yours.
8. Practice Accountability
Take responsibility for your actions, hold yourself accountable to your own high standards, and refuse to ‘settle’ - be it with a job, partner, or lifestyle.
We should be living intentionally, not leaving things to chance or assuming that things will just work out. Be deliberate, plan, prepare, save, invest, read, learn, research, grow your skillset, and move forward with intelligent action. Sitting back on your arse won’t achieve a damn thing - get up, move, create momentum - and motivation will follow. Take considered steps to live the life you want, not what others think you should have and regularly evaluate your progress.
9. Support Other Men Without Judgement
Uplift, don’t compete. Encourage honest conversations. Be the kind of man who makes it safe for others to be themselves.
Be honest and open, and ready and willing to listen. Some times you may need a shoulder to cry on, and at other times, you’ll be the one supporting someone else. And don’t worry about saying the right thing or trying to help someone else ‘fix’ a problem - what they need most from you is an understanding ear.
10. Teach the Next Generation Differently
Whether you're raising sons or daughters, model and teach that masculinity isn't rigid—it can be strong, kind, calm, fierce, nurturing, and wise.
Masculinity is many things, and becoming a father can in fact challenge our own thoughts and feelings about what it is to be ‘manly’. Some of us have gone from pumping iron to helping pump breast milk, and we know more about baby bowel movements than we’d care to admit! But, being there for your partner/ spouse and children is about as manly as it gets. Strong, reliable, emotionally steady, willing and able to have open and honest conversations… and prepared to defend your clan at all costs - be that man!
Join us twice weekly on Substack or via your Inbox (if you subscribe for FREE) and/or across socials:
Facebook: facebook.com/ManDadMedia
Instagram: instagram.com/mandadmedia/
Blue Sky: mandadmagazine.bsky.social (because we no longer do X/Twitter)
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/mandadmedia
Substack:
And, don’t forget to share this with all the Dads you know!